Iraqi family culture

Here-family

In the story below it tells about Marines with 3rd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment, Regimental Combat Team 6, visiting people in their homes in Fallujah, Iraq. This is an introduction written by Pfc. Brian Jones about the some of the circumstances of Iraqi culture that Marines have discovered for themselves and have curiously questioned.

As violence subsides in Fallujah, “the city of mosques”, Marines find time to indulge in investigating their cultural curiosities of the Iraqi people who surround them. Marines communicate, work and in some cases live with them offering ample amounts of opportunity to get to know them.

The Arab populace of Fallujah is dominantly made up of Muslims and religion is central part of the Iraqis’ daily life. Proverbs from the Quran can be seen written on walls everywhere. Daily prayers can be heard all over the city from the loudspeakers atop of mosques drowning out the noise below of an active neighborhood.

The social makeup of the communities is made of closely tied tribal and extended family relations. It’s the mold of their society. Iraqis’ family honor is very important. Insults and criticism are taken very seriously. Marines have learned to associate people with others who are apart of the same tribe.  One can think of it as almost a “if you mess with one you mess with the whole trailer park” approach.

Commonly, children ask Marines how many wives and children they have back home in the States. The children’s curiosity is sprung from a value system of a man’s worth or success by the size of the family he supports. Marines have jokingly told them they have five wives and eighteen children just to see the surprised and impressed look on their faces.

Marines inquire about an Iraqis’ marriage, or marriages in some cases, with those they meet. To our fascination,

School-girls

arranged marriages are still practiced here by some families, but the couples usually have some say in the match making. The greatest concern in these arranged marriages is the man’s capability to provide for the woman and children in the future. The husband is expected to provide the house, food and clothes for his family.

Depending on a man’s financial wealth he may marry multiple wives and raise children with all of them, provided he financially supports the many homes they all live in.

Many of the Marines here have responded to the sound of gunfire only to find out that it is a common practice among Arabs to fire weapons into the air during weddings and celebration of other things, such as an big win for a favorite Iraqi soccer team.

As Marines stop and knock at doors and enter a home they usually find an entire extended family living closely

together under one roof. Large families are the norm. In a single household there may be the father, wife or wives, unmarried sons and daughters, their married sons and their families, the father’s mother and unmarried sisters. Children typically don’t leave the home until they are married.

Large families have more economic benefits for a family as a whole by providing the family with more hands to supply income. A large family also provides the father with the prestige of virility with the signs of responsibility, wealth and success.

Sons are generally preferred because a son will take the responsibility to care for his parents in their elderly years. Some children may attend school, but in poorer and more rural areas children may spend their days working, if the work can be found, to help support the family.

In Iraqi society gender roles are clearly defined. Throughout the Arab culture, authority is generally related to older men. Wisdom and experience is associated with age. Women have a protected role in society with respect for their privacy. Men and women are segregated much of the time, especially when business is involved. Women are expected to be quiet and modest around men, especially outside the home.

Back-of-women

As an example, women are seen in the city with men and they may stop to get something to eat. The women may
have to sit facing the wall to protect her privacy as she eats so that she is not seen by the passerby. In their culture the women are considered respected as opposed to being oppressed as westerners might see it as.

Within the home women hold authority over their children and household affairs. The man’s mother takes the role as the overall authority.

Marines experience the politeness and generosity of Iraqis everyday. Marines are offered to share tea and meals with them almost with certainty on many visits. Iraqis seem to have a passion for talking a lot and speak loudly full of emotion and gestures. Their dress is governed by their concerns for modesty. Their approach to time is more relaxed than in western culture. They’re very affection people. It’s a common sight to see men greet one another with a kiss on the cheek and hold hands as they walk and speak with one another. However, public affection between men and women is discouraged.

Their loyalties lie with the immediate family and then the tribe, but Coalition Forces are trying to spread a greater

Children

sense of national unity among the Iraqi people to encourage them to pull together as a stronger nation rather than subdividing themselves.

When Marines patrol through the city streets of Fallujah they are typically greeted, swarmed, followed and sometimes
even chased by children. These Iraqi children who eagerly compete for our Marines’ attention are the future of Iraq and if Coalition Forces have had any success at winning the hearts and minds and having a positive influence on anyone, it’s those children.